Lost Waters
Theme parks are intended to be an escape from the real world. The busyness, the hectic pace, the crowds, the worry about checking things off your list. A day in the park is supposed to relax you, to help revive your inner spirit.
Of course, this is usually a total fantasy. Ever been to a Six Flags or Disney park? The busyness, the hectic pace, the crowds, and the worry about checking things off your list. So much for that.
And yet…every so often you can find a spot. An area that does present a sense of peace, calm, stillness. Many times this involves water—a river, lake, even a small stream burbling along the pathway. All parks had significant water areas in their original designs. Some, like Carowinds, were a direct lift from Disneyland, with its riverboat slowing plying the small circuit around the center of the park. Others had water features as grand as Lake Charles at Kings Dominion, which ran the length of the Rebel Yell…er…Racer ’75.
Over time parks decided that the real estate was more valuable as an attraction, so the rivers and lakes gradually dried up. Most of Lake Charles got filled in, leaving behind a small mosquito basin. Great America’s Yankee Harbor used to be just that. Carowinds lost nearly all of its water: Pirate Island used to be, well, an island. The Powder Keg Flume got replaced by a coaster, all of it on dry land. Part of the area underneath Gold Rusher was used for a canoe attraction; this was an extension of the central river, which of course is nearly all gone now. Along with the beautiful riverboat. More on that in a bit.
Astroworld had one of those Jungle Cruise knockoffs in the upper-left corner of the park. It got filled in for a coaster. Ditto for Six Flags Over Mid-America and Six Flags Over Georgia. Same for Six Flags Over Texas, along with their canoe attraction. Kings Island also had a canoe ride and waterways that wound through the original antique auto roadways. Some of you will remember the lake surrounding the entrance to the Beast. Then there was Jaws at Universal. The list goes on.
And now we learn that the second most sacred waterway at a theme park is destined for dryness. Who would have ever imagined that Disney would pave over the iconic Rivers of America in the Magic Kingdom? The magnificent Liberty Square Riverboat is one of the most memorable visuals at the park. It does exactly what it was always intended to do—offer a relaxing journey away from the hustle and bustle. A chance to slow down and just gaze over the rails at whatever happens to drift by. A reminder of times long gone by in history…which was, after all, Walt’s reason for including the original version at the most sacred waterway in a theme park.
There are so few places left that offer such a peaceful escape; everything seems geared toward maximizing revenue. Cars Land East will certainly fill the bill, with high capacity attractions, retail, and food and beverage. I’m sure WDI will do a great job with it, as long as the C-suite suits don’t get too nervous in the current downturn in attendance and budget cut it to death.
I actually think it’s a great idea, having visited the richly detailed Radiator Springs in DCA. But I can’t find any thematic connection whatsoever with Frontierland. The Magic Kingdom is not an IP park. It stands alone, quite well, on its original design conceit. Frontierland can be timeless. Other than a mountain and lots of dirt, there’s nothing Frontierland about anthropomorphic cars. It belongs at Hollywood Studios.
I miss the water. I miss the extra special something it brings to a park. Not every square foot needs to be covered with rides, shows, and churros. Does it?
